I got a gal, six feet tall,
Sleeps in the kitchen with her feet in the hall,
Eatin' hogs' eyes,
Spittin’ out the chitlins,
She loves ice cream,
‘specially with gravy.
I was out in the wild wood, settin' on a log,
My finger on the trigger and my eye on a hog;
I pulled that trigger and the gun went "zip",
And I caught that hog with all of my grip;
He got away, still i didn’t really need him anyhow,
Had an awful lot of fun shootin’ at him though.
I was down in the hen house on my knees,
When I thought I heard a chicken sneeze,
Weren’t nothin’ but the rooster sayin' his prayers,
Thankin' the Lord for the hens upstairs.
Rooster prayin', hens a-layin',
Poor little pullets just pluggin' away best they know.
Now I don’t have to work too hard,
‘cos I got a gal in the rich folks' yard,
And she’s out there workin’,
And I’m up here sleepin’,
Dreamin’ about her,
Her and three other women.
The other day I took me a wife,
And I got me a son, he’s the pride of my life,
And he rubs mashed potatoes in my hair,
Slides them string beans up my nose,
says “you’re my paw …. aintcha?”
If you want to get to heaven, let me tell you what to do,
You gotta grease your feet in a little mutton stew,
Slide right out of the devil's hand,
And ease over to the Promised Land,
Take it easy, go greasy!
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